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In this special Funeral X episode Rob interviews ICCFA Keynote presenter, Mark Scharenbroich, about his presentation: Nice Bike – Making Meaningful Connections. Immediately following Mark’s presentation, Johnson Consulting Group, J3Tech Solutions & Funeral Results Marketing will be hosting Mark’s book signing at our booths in the Expo Hall. ICCFA’s Annual Convention is going to be held in Las Vegas from March 22nd to the 25th. For more information and registration details, visit www.ICCFA.com.
See the complete transcript here:
Rob Heppell:
Welcome to the Funeral X podcast. I am your host, Robin Heppell from Funeral Results Marketing. This is a special edition of the Funeral X podcast, as we are leading up to the ICCFA Convention that is going to be held in Las Vegas, Nevada at the Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino on March 22nd to the 25th, 2022. Today, I am joined by one of the keynote speakers for the ICCFA Convention, Mark Scharenbroich. Mark’s from Minneapolis, Minnesota and he’s the author of ‘Nice Bike: Making Meaningful Connections on the Road of Life’. Hey Mark, are you there?
Mark Scharenbroich:
Rob, I’m with you all the way.
Rob Heppell:
Okay. Excellent. Now, I’ll just let the listeners know that I caught you on your vacation before we put you to work. So, Mark’s in Hawaii and enjoying some time with the family, but I really appreciate this opportunity. Hey-
Mark Scharenbroich:
Oh you’re welcome. Great to be with you. Seriously.
Rob Heppell:
Great. Now, can you give us… I know that you’re very well known in the speaking world. You’ve… A number of awards. You’ve got an Emmy to your name. Maybe though for the folks in funeral service, just give a little bit of background about yourself.
Mark Scharenbroich:
I’ve been in the speaking industry my entire career starting as a… In high school and college, I was in a comedy group that performed in schools and universities. High schools, universities. Ended up going in as a solo presenter, initially speaking to high schools as a high school assembly speaker for 25 years. About 3,500 high schools across North America, every province of Canada, every state in the U.S. And if you want to learn about being a speaker, you learned it in high school gymnasiums, where they are hoping that you fail. And then as kids grew up and got jobs as adults and had meetings, they sat around and said, “Hey, anybody hear of a speaker that they’ve heard recently?” And they go, “Yes, I heard a guy back in high school. Let me Google him and bring him to our event.” And so as kids matured and got businesses, they brought me along. And that’s transitioning from education into business. And that’s where the career started. But the real message is all about ‘Nice Bike’ which is our whole brand.
Rob Heppell:
Mm-hmm. Can you share a little bit of the background without giving it away of what you’re going to share in Vegas?
Mark Scharenbroich:
Well, you were a Harley rider at one point, weren’t you Rob?
Rob Heppell:
Yes. I’ve had a couple of Harleys back before I was married there, Mark.
Mark Scharenbroich:
Marriage changed the situation, Rob?
Rob Heppell:
Yes, sometimes. Twice actually.
Mark Scharenbroich:
Hey, I’m not a Harley guy. I’ve never been on a Harley. I’ve never even sat one to this day. They’re cool, don’t get me wrong. But I was speaking to a group of educators. I’m from Minneapolis. Flew to Milwaukee for a presentation to educators. And I’m driving to Milwaukee and I realized that I just landed in the Harley Davidson 100 year anniversary for their company, there in Milwaukee. There were half a million bikers at that event. And I was just curious. It just looked cool. And I’d go walk in through there and pull my car over. And I pull over to a venue and you’d see all these Harleys and Harley riders.
I remember just seeing these big guys with the big beard, Game of Thrones, tattoos, du-rags, big chain on the wallet. And somebody would walk by him and go, “Ah, nice bike.” And this big guy would just smile and a conversation began about, “How long you been riding?” And, “Yes, my father and I rode together. We worked on this Harley.” And I realized after hearing this about the 20th time, it wasn’t about the bike as it was about the connection that was being made. And so ‘Nice Bike’ has become my metaphor of how we connect with others in a meaningful way, of how to open that door and make those real meaningful connections that we all need in this world.
Rob Heppell:
Yes. I totally… Well, I’ve said it so many times, Mark. And I think you know what it is because when you don’t know someone, and especially nowadays when you have to be so careful of what you say, especially if maybe a person of the opposite sex. So instead of saying, “Oh gee, that’s a nice dress you’re wearing,” that could be construed as maybe like, “Well, what does he mean by that?” But “Nice bike,” would be a compliment to anyone who owned a bike. Because they put so much effort into it. They polish it. They probably spend more time on it than a lot of other things in their lives. And that’s the perfect compliment.
Mark Scharenbroich:
I think it’s… It even goes deeper than that, Rob from the standpoint of it can be more than a compliment. It can be a way of how we open ourselves to others and find a way to make a deeper connection with them. I support… In the book that we wrote, ‘Nice Bike’, I supported with, “Acknowledge, honor, and connect.” Acknowledgement, by being fully present in the lives of others. To be there. And honor, by creating meaningful experiences for others. Making a deposit in their memory bank. And finally, to connect by making it personal. To own that moment. And so, how we approach others, how we establish our relationship, how we go deeper with them, it’s… I was just talking to somebody about this. They were talking about some celebrity that they met. And I haven’t met many celebrities, but the ones I know exactly… Talked about where sometimes you meet a celebrity or a politician, you hear this about that person, that when you’re with them, it feels like you’re the only one in the room.
They’re not focused on anybody but you. Now, that might be only for 30 seconds, but they know how to make you the most important person in the room. “That’s a nice bike.” That’s being more focused on somebody else than on yourself. One of my favorite quotes came from Barbara Jordan, first black woman from Texas elected to Congress. And she had a quote that just was amazing. She said, “It’s more important to be interested than interesting.” Everybody has a story. And I always thought that, to be interesting to other people you had to tell them your story and all about you. It’s just the opposite. If you really want to make a connection with somebody else, it’s finding out what their story is and going deeper on it.
Rob Heppell:
Just like what you did to me when we picked up the phone?
Mark Scharenbroich:
No, Yes but… You know what? I’m not the smartest guy in the world, but I am curious.
Rob Heppell:
Yes.
Mark Scharenbroich:
And so, for people in your world, the world of funeral directors, cemeterians, and the entire funeral service… And what a fascinating world that not a lot of us know about. We know about retail sales. We know about a lot of different professions. But this is really fascinating… And, the most important time in a person’s life are their first days in this world and their last days, and how we say goodbye to someone. It’s a fascinating profession that has so much meaning to it.
Rob Heppell:
I think…
Mark Scharenbroich:
And people need that so much.
Rob Heppell:
And that’s… I think you will love the people that you meet because they’re very genuine people, they’re there to serve people, they’re helping people out at the most difficult time of their lives. And it shows. And I think one of the… When you see the comradery at the convention, people… They make lifelong friends. Because they’ve all been through some of the same tough times and helping certain circumstances or situations. And they do kind of let themselves go a little bit, Mark. So, just a little bit of a warning that when they get out of the shot, the bright lights of their big cities or small towns, when they’re the beacons of light there… Especially Vegas, maybe they’ll be letting their hair down a little bit, but…
Mark Scharenbroich:
Hey, we’re not in Peoria, we’re in Vegas and you should. And you know what? The other thing I find interested in… And this is true of your background also, is the strong family connection within the industry. I know growing up in St. Cloud Minnesota, which is central Minnesota. With my family, it was the Williams Funeral. If your last name was Scharenbroich or anybody related to us and somebody passed, the only family we dealt with was at Williams Funeral Home. It was like, the loyalty is incredible.
Rob Heppell:
Mm-hmm.
Mark Scharenbroich:
It’s like, your great grandfather was buried, your grandfather’s buried, your dad’s buried. We deal business with them. There’s a real strong connection. And again, that’s what the ‘Nice Bike’ is all about. That strong family connection, that strong loyalty that people at that most important time of their life, they knew who to turn to. And that’s based upon years of building a reputation, which is incredible.
Rob Heppell:
But you know Mark, it’s getting harder now. Just like… I’m sure when you growing up, you were probably either a Ford family or a Chevy family, or a Dodge family. And the same with the funeral homes. But that’s changing. And getting the loyalty too. You can’t rely on it anymore, and you have to work harder to maintain it.
Mark Scharenbroich:
Yes, but isn’t that one of the many changes that’s been happening? From caskets to cremation, from the marketing now that you’re an expert in. There’s so many changes in the industry that people don’t really even think about. But the people in your industry are constant. And you’re right. You can’t rely on that family loyalty. You now have to go out there and earn it within the community, through your involvement and the relationships that you build.
Rob Heppell:
Yes.
Mark Scharenbroich:
And I guess that’s why I’m hoping that my message resonates with our audience in Las Vegas is, “How do we create those long term strong relationships that form a bond within the community, where we’ve earned the right for people to depend upon us at that moment in your life?”
Rob Heppell:
For sure. Well, and one thing with the group though, the people there are the ones that are eager to keep improving and keep bettering themselves. So, I know you’ll have an eager crowd and wanting to see how they can apply your message to what they can do to continually make those connections as you said, and continue to build that loyalty and rapport with their community. I was listening to some of your videos Mark, beforehand. And one of them was just at the beginning of the pandemic. And it was interesting how you and the couple of guys were talking. And you were kind of predicting what we might be into. And I don’t know if anyone would’ve known now looking back if we could have predicted what happened the last couple years. With a little bit of what you know, what we do, and meeting these people, and with the… Hopefully coming out of the pandemic here, any insights into tying the three things together? Your message, the funeral service, end of the pandemic?
Mark Scharenbroich:
I’m obviously an optimist. And so, I’m very hopeful as we all are that we’ll be on this soon. If not, we’ll learn how to deal with it and work our way through it as we have. But in life, I believe that we learn more from our challenges than we do from our wins. I think when we get knocked over and have to get back up again, I think we learn a lot. So, I think for COVID, what lessons have we learned that we can use to move forward with ourselves, to be a better person, better in our business? I think the things that hit me… Number one would be everyday heroes. For the very first time, grocery store clerks, delivery people, healthcare professionals were finally truly appreciated. Our son and daughter-in-law lived in Brooklyn across from a trauma center, and seven o’clock every night, everybody would get on their balconies and bang their pots and pans for all the healthcare workers across the street.
It was a very touching moment. So, I think to appreciate people just for showing up for work, and let them know that, “Hey. Who you are and what you do matters.” People need to hear that. I think the second lesson is of change, of having to adapt. Whether it was Zoom calls, whether it was how we deal… How in the world would you deal with a funeral service that’s meaningful that people cannot attend? So, how can we… Constantly asking the question, “What if?” In our own business. “How about?” “What will we do if?” “How can we?” To constantly look forward as you did. You started the industry because in British Columbia, cremations… We’re having much more than other places across North America. And so, people went to you for that expertise.
And so, to be constantly looking forward to innovate. And instead of fighting change, to work with it. And I think that, the third thing that I learned, that I hope we’ve all learned, how important human connection is of… Just taking your mask off and seeing people and smiling again. I can’t… We lost my mom three years ago. And she was 97. And her last two weeks were just the most beautiful gift to us in the world with her passing. And I cannot even fathom what it was like for so many people to have lost a loved one over a iPhone screen. And so, I think now more than ever within your industry, the funeral industry, what people do and how they do it and the reverence they bring to it, and the meaning and the thoughtfulness, how important that truly is. When something’s taken away from you, you really realize how important it is. So, everyday heroes.
Rob Heppell:
Mm-hmm (affirmative).
Mark Scharenbroich:
Constant adapting to change, and realizing the importance of human connection. And the third one is what my message of ‘Nice Bike’ will be all about in Las Vegas.
Rob Heppell:
Yes. Mark, it’s been hard with all these… Like the funeral staff. Probably at the cemeteries, maybe since they’re outside, it hasn’t been the same. But for the two years, a lot of places had to wear masks, right? And there’s those little times when you’re sitting across the arrangement table with a family and maybe you just give them just a comforting look, not a big smile, not a toothy grin. But there’s so much non-verbal communication that goes on at this very difficult time. And both the funeral directors and the client families have lost out on that. And then to compound that, there was capacity limits. So, maybe there was only the family there, or only 10 people or 20. And that’s in different places in the continent. Maybe it was 50, max 50, or 50% of what you could hold.
People are slowly easing back into it. And one thing we’re dealing with right now is, some families are ready to, “Okay, yep. Everyone can come in masks off or what have you.” And again, depending on the region’s guidelines. But then, some families are still… They’re still quite nervous about everything, and it’s not… So we’re kind of in this middle time, and we have to respect the wishes of the family and how that’s best done. But we’ve experienced this a little bit of watching what happened after September 11th and when people were just missing and people were looking for DNA, like hair and things like that because they missed out. And I’m sure the funeral profession will witness this as we go through the next few years of… Those families that didn’t get to honor someone’s life the way they normally would or celebrate a life, it’s going to be hard.
And I know… When talking with funeral directors throughout North America, as the restrictions get lifted, maybe they’re having a celebration of life later. Right? They’re finally coming back and then… But others, “It’s been a year now. We’re not going to bother.” And we’ll probably see that those people have some unresolved grief down the road. We’re living through this and we’ll see how it plays out. But hopefully, we’re better prepared to deal with this as it goes. And I think making those connections is going to be valuable in this process.
Mark Scharenbroich:
Oh, I do think. And now is a perfect time to attend the conference, the convention because we’ve all been… At the handful of live events that I’ve spoken at, every one of them is like a family reunion, no matter what industry it is. So for this group of people to get together, and celebrate with each other, and see each other, and share stories, it’s going to be a wonderful experience. One not to miss in Las Vegas.
Rob Heppell:
Well, I know there’ll be a bunch of Canadians coming down that may not have crossed the border for a couple of years. So, they’ll be enjoying themselves. Before I wrap up Mark, any last thoughts?
Mark Scharenbroich:
I just feel fortunate just to be able to attend and find out about the industry. And the brief conversation we’ve had Rob and the… I just find it fascinating. What brings people into this world? What’s the career path? What keeps you in it? What type of personality is drawn to this world? I think it’s fascinating. So, I believe… The one thing that my message and the people in the room have in common are that word connection. To be able to connect with a family at one of the most difficult times in their life in a very meaningful way, it’s pretty magical. It’s a real spiritual gift. So I want to learn. I’m curious. And I want to be able to share a message that will support, affirm, and validate how much these people in the room mean to so many in this world.
Rob Heppell:
Well, I think you’ll witness that for sure. And one thing… I do hope you get the opportunity when you’re walking around the expo hall. And one of the nice things with ICCFA is you present right there on the expo floor at… They are all on one side. And then you’re right into the expo hall. So, I’ll tell the folks in a minute where you’ll be right after your presentation. But when you have time, Mark, you’re going to have to walk around and there’s going to be… I hope there’ll be but there’s… We have these car manufacturers. And usually, there are these Harley hearses. And so, you’re going to need to get a picture taken with…
Mark Scharenbroich:
Oh great.
Rob Heppell:
Yes. And they’re either… Sometimes they’re a Harley with a casket kind of trailer, or maybe it’s one of those trikes.
Mark Scharenbroich:
Yes.
Rob Heppell:
So, you’ll need to look around with that.
Mark Scharenbroich:
Oh, that’s great. I’ll look forward.
Rob Heppell:
Yes.
Mark Scharenbroich:
Can’t wait for that photo.
Rob Heppell:
Yes. And the other thing that I do want to let everyone know. I just want to let everyone who’s going to be watching your presentation and there in Vegas. Right after Mark’s presentation, are a group of companies. So Johnson Consulting Group, J3Tech Solutions, and Funeral Results Marketing. We’re hosting your book signing at our booths. We’re all together right after in the expo hall. So, it’ll be great to see you in person and get a copy of your book. And I just really appreciate this time with you, Mark, just giving a little hint of what they can expect when they see you next month.
Mark Scharenbroich:
Oh, that’s great Rob. I really appreciate you taking the time, friend.
Rob Heppell:
You bet. Well, and I would like to thank Mark, who will be presenting ‘Nice Bike: Making Meaningful Connections’ at ICCFA’s Annual Convention that’s going to be held in Las Vegas, Nevada from March 22nd to 25th. For more information and registration details, go to www.ICCFA.com. And if you’re going to be attending the convention, try to attend our breakout sessions on Friday at 10:00 AM. Jake Johnson will be presenting ‘Success and Succession in Funeral Service’. And then immediately following at 11:00, I will be presenting ‘The Right Online Marketing Strategy’. Thanks for listening to this edition of the Funeral X podcast. On behalf of my business partner, Jake Johnson, this is Robin Heppell.
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